Do you think I should go back?

Someone recently asked me, and many other people have asked before, if I thought it is wise that they should go back to their former employer and seek re-employment.

Just to give you a background of this last conversation, this said person had voluntarily resigned from this employer so as to deal with family matters which according to them was interfering with their service delivery at the time. First, I have such respect for people like this because it takes courage and maturity to reach to the point where you are willing to admit to yourself that you are only human and you need a break. Not many people are willing to make this sacrifice.

There are very many reasons why people leave from an organization, resignation is just one of them. Back to the conversation at hand, the answer to whether you should or should not go back to seek re employment is never a Yes or No affair. It is a personal decision that one has to make on their own after a thorough soul searching. I admit, it requires a lot of courage and humility to approach a former employer and tell them , ‘look, I’m here and I’d like you to re-hire me’ and most especially if you did not leave in a positive light, or even when you separated in good terms.

My response to this kind of dilemma therefore is normally to ask the person to examine their motive for wanting to go back. Is it that you genuinely want to come back to a place you once served at and loved or you are just desperate and looking for whoever is willing to take you? Is it that you have something more to offer this employer or the greener pastures you went to seek turned out to be not so green after all and now you just prefer the devil you know? Once you leave a place, your relationship with that place and the employees automatically change. The question is, are you willing to swallow your pride and work with the people you left behind again amidst all the stares, mistrust and the murmuring until you win them back? Remember that this could take awhile. It’s like trying to win back your spouse after they found out that you cheated on them. Thirdly, why are you so afraid of moving forward? To the unknown?

My personal advise to myself has always been to keep moving forward. Once you leave an organization, coming back, unless you really have something new to offer, is almost like vomiting and licking it back. I apologize for the extreme description and I say this respectfully. The future is uncertain for everyone and it doesn’t guarantee that when you come back, everything will now fall into place; it could. However, by expanding your horizon, you continue to stretch yourself, you challenge your own thinking and get to learn things you obviously didn’t know. It could be rough a long the way but that’s the price you pay for success. Being comfortable births complacence and once you become complacent in your career, you are as good as not being there.

Note that my own interpretation above does not stop you from seeking out a former employer, it is only you who knows your intentions and how dire your situation is. However, have that long meeting with yourself and be very clear on what you intend to achieve by this move because it could turn out to be one of the worst mistakes of your life or you could just be opening a new door to a greater career and future.

Hello Woman,

Happy New Year to you!!!

As we begin another year and decade, I believe I need to say this. It is something I have wanted to say for a very long time, and what better time to share it but now, when we are still all fresh into a new chapter of our lives.

In the recent years, there have been several attempts to empower women, so much so that the boy child has now felt ‘threatened’ by this and sadly, as time goes, the boy child seems to be forgotten. In this process of women empowerment however, there have been instances where girls and women have been told that they need to be like men. This is where the whole idea of this article emerges. I do not have any problem with women empowerment, as a matter of fact, it makes me proud to see very successful women who have beaten all odds to become the best in their respective fields. I, for instance understand that it is not always easy for a woman because naturally, we live in a man’s world.

None the less, a woman does not need to become or behave like a man in order to earn respect or achieve success in their life. In simple translation, what you are basically telling her is that she is not good enough being the person God created her to be. It is like constantly telling your daughter, ‘why don’t you be like your brother?’ or ‘why can’t you do things the way your brother does?’. Fact is, no woman can be a man and vice versa, and your daughter can and will never be like her brother and any attempts to make her any different will only put unnecessary pressures on her. The results might not be what you had anticipated.

Biblically speaking, God created a man and charged him with the responsibility of being the head of the family. Responsibility comes with accountability though, but this is a story for another time. My point is, as a woman, you are good enough being a woman. If God wanted you to be a man, He would have created you as one. Each gender is unique on it’s own and I believe that the whole idea of women empowerment should be about embracing who we are and working on becoming the best version of that inspite of all odds. Women have natural abilities that men do not have and that sets them apart. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a woman and you must stop expecting preferential or special treatment just because you are of a particular gender.

Women empowerment is and should not be a competition over which gender is more superior than the other but on building women to embrace their femininity and have them rise above the challenges they face daily in an attempt to be the very best in their respective areas. As a woman, you can choose any course or career you wish, work hard at it and succeed. You can join any sport you wish and excel in it. Each time I tell someone that I am a Karateka, the next question is, ‘why are you trying to be like a man?’ The fact is that that’s not my intention, I simply love a Sport that most people think should only be for men. No amount of education or empowerment will ever turn a woman into a man and vice versa. Let’s all embrace who we are, nurture that and be the best versions of ourselves.

Woman, you are beautiful; wonderfully and fearfully made. You are unique, strong and capable just the way you are. You have a purpose on this life so go out, seek it and fulfill it. Happy New Year!!!