As a Woman, you may hold a Doctorate Degree, a senior Management position in a well respected organization, command respect whenever you step into the room, live an exceptional lifestyle and all, but whenever you finish introducing yourself, men (and unfortunately women), will always ask you one question: Are you married?

I am about to discuss a very controversial subject and I’m aware that there are several people who hold a contrary opinion on this subject. The African society has made many believe that the ultimate success for a woman is finding a husband; it doesn’t matter what kind of husband, just get married, after all, all your mates are already married, what are you still waiting for? The pressure that comes with this notion does not put into consideration the dreams and desires of this girl. For some, they bow to the pressure and move into marriages that are bound to fail from the get go. The few that choose to fight for their dreams are labelled ‘enemies of men’.

Raising a girl in the modern society with a lot of social media influence is enough pressure by itself. So when we bring up our girls with the mentality that the only way they can ever be or be considered successful is when they have a husband by their side, this is misleading and very sad. Not to say that I am not proud of those who are married and working on their marriages. You could or could not get married. But this doesn’t take away from you all the hard work, sweat, tears and dedication you have put in your other dreams.

So dear girl, success means different things to different people. Marriage is definitely not the yardstick for measuring success. It is okay to go to school and obtain as many degrees as you possibly can, to focus on your career and never get married in the end, if that’s your choice. It is also okay to do all the above and when you are now ready to settle down, you do so. It’s important to emphasize on the importance of living your life by your own terms. Fight for your dreams, choose wisely. Do not hurry into a marriage simply because you and people around you feel that ‘you are not getting any younger’. When it comes to the end of your life, the only thing that will matter is, did you live a good life? The rest will just be details.

Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Master Himself. You are more than enough. So until you are ready to settle down, focus on building yourself up.